


This is enough, right?

by allforeverything (YachiLove)



Series: Angst AU [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Canon Compliant, Gen, Introspection, Pre-Canon, Self-Worth Issues, in a world none of us actually want to be canon, kind of, like pure angst I'm sorry, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:22:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7459329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YachiLove/pseuds/allforeverything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance thinks everyone hates him. </p><p>That's it, that's the story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is enough, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Please be warned that Lance's view of himself does not accurately depict how others think of him!

Lance knows he's annoying.

He'd always known that no matter what he did, people would look at him in disdain. There seemed to be just something about him that people hated, his classmates, his teachers, everyone except for his family.

His family was his rock, the thing that kept him grounded and filled him with happiness. He knew that no matter what happened his family would love and support him. They were what kept him going. 

Now, in space, his family is millions of light-years away and he never felt so lost. 

***

From when he was born to his second year of elementary school, Lance is a quiet boy. His favorite thing to do is read about space and aliens and stars and when he grows up he wants to be a space pilot because there is no job that is cooler!

He's never seen without a book in hand, using any break in school to just spend a little more time with the stars. His mothers tell him to make friends and talk to the other kids, but they're always mean to him so why should he? And plus, he has his siblings and cousins to play with so it wasn't like he didn't already have friends. 

Third grade comes around and a new boy called Jackson transfers into his class. It has no particular significance to Lance, who still spend his time at school mostly alone. That is, until the Jackson begins to be even meaner than the other kids.

For some reason Lance couldn't understand, Jackson seems to hate him. He never tried to talk to Lance, he just comes up to him one day and rips the book out of Lance's hands and throws it into a nearby puddle. Lance cries for the rest of the day, not all all comforted by his teacher who believes Jackson that it was an accident. 

That's just the beginning. 

Lance gives up on reading in school three destroyed books later. He had hoped that it would get better, that he wouldn't have to explain to his moms again why he was always crying after school but Jackson doesn't seem to be satisfied. 

By then, the other kids have caught up to the fact that Lance was not to be talked to or to be liked if they didn't want to be Jackson's next victim. 

Three months later, Lance changes schools.

He's terrified. What if the kids in his new school don't like him either? What if something was wrong with him and it was just normal that people didn't like him? The only people who did were his family so maybe he was cursed?

Lance frets about his new school for a long long time and eventually decided that maybe if he changes his personality then he won't be so annoying and other people wouldn't hate him anymore.

So he picks the most popular boy in his old school and tries to be like him. Someone funny who likes sports and was super duper confident! There was no way that people could hate someone like that, right?

And it seems to work! The other kids are more friendly to him and want to play with him during recess! He misses his books and being so energetic all the time is kind of draining, but no one makes him cry anymore so everything is fine.

And it stayed fine, more or less.

After some time passes, Lance begins to notice that although the other kids are nice to him, they never want to be his friend. He always thought his family would be enough but having spent time with the other kids he really wants to be friends with them too! 

But no one seems to share that feeling. His birthday parties are still full of his siblings and cousins and even though he has fun with them, it stings that none of his classmates come. He also notices that sometimes people will laugh when he walks by and talk about him and it makes him feel just a bit like Jackson did back then, but no one was ever mean to him so he just figures that for someone like him, this is the best he can do. 

No one ever makes him believe otherwise. 

***

At Galaxy Garrison he meets Hunk and he's the first person he tentatively calls a friend. He still thinks Hunk might hate him and the way he reacts to some of the things Lance says or does don't really dispel that feeling, but he likes Hunk and Hunk seems to at least somewhat like him. Plus, he says yes when Lance asks him to hang out and even sometimes asks himself!

Later they meet Pidge and it's clear that Pidge hates him, but he's nice about it and he clearly likes Hunk so it's not so bad. Lance does his best to not make Hunk choose between him and Pidge because he knows he'd end up alone again. 

Sometimes Lance thinks he could stop his act and be just himself again, but the open hatefulness of everyone still haunts him so he just continues. If it weren't for his family he would doubt if his old personality even still exists, but at home he still spends his time reading, mostly to his younger cousins and siblings. They adore his tales of stars and space and spaceships and he hopes that they aren't like him, that other people don't immediately hate them. He certainly doesn't know how anyone could. 

Hunk, Pidge and him make a good team. They still need a lot of training but flying with them is fun and Lance hopes they won't be separated so soon. 

***

Then Shiro happens and shortly after Zarkon happens and then they're in space and Lance is one part exited and two parts terrified because his family is not there with him and he can't go back to them if things become to hard. 

Still he's glad for everyone who's there with him, even Keith. He loves them in a way similar to his family, even though they still kind of hate him. But that's okay, he would do anything for them because they're his friends. 

Still, he misses his books and Pidge won't lend him any, in fact they looked at him like he grew a second head when he asked so that was probably a step too far for him and he doesn't ask again. 

He gets the same looks from the others when he goes to read in the castle library and they make him kind of nervous so he just sneaks in at night and grabs a new book whenever he needs it. 

Sometimes it's rocky. He says something wrong or does something reckless and everyone will be annoyed with him and he spends the next few days worrying that they finally have enough of him and will just get another blue paladin so he acts even more energetic and funny until everything calms down again. 

On those nights, he'll wrap all of his blankets around him and seek comfort in the darkness of his room, thinking about his family and the new stories he'll be able to tell the little ones when he gets home. 

Generally things are great. He still worries that the others will start to hate him, but he's working hard to stop that from happening. He won't give them a reason to, at least not more than he already does. 

He still feels lost. He daydreams that Hunk, Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Allura and Coran will one day actually like him, but he tries not to get his hopes up. He can endure being disliked as long as he can see his friends happy. That's enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Im my head, the rest of the team really loves Lance and would never hate him, but they don't know what Lance thinks and he doesn't know what they think. 
> 
> If you made it this far, I would really appreciate if you left a comment!


End file.
